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Expounding on Nothing

Impartial Observer

 
THE FEVER

A rather unexpected event has occurred. I am experiencing my usual bout of Spring Fever right now, in November. What does this mean???

I don't exactly know, but I can tell you that when this fever hits, I get a blast of irritation coupled with outlandish enthusiasm to rip away at the status quo. The fever invades my consciousness slowly at first, then gains momentum as it permeates every nook and cranny of my being, thoroughly investigating and exploring my inner landscape with the brightness of a searchlight. As it lights upon those intimate places that wish to remain anonymous, it is unforgiving and ruthless. I feel paralyzed and unbearably exposed, yet also intrigued in the same way as when one passes a traffic fatality, or reads the biography of a serial killer.

The fever slices me up into little puzzle pieces, all of which fall onto the table of awareness to be contemplated and admired. Inevitably, while putting the puzzle back together, a few pieces will go missing, and a thorough search of the landscape will turn up nothing. I am left unfinished, incomplete.

A work in progress.

 
THE HUNGARIAN Rx

Yesterday I came down with some sort of illness, and spent more hours of the day in a supine postition than upright. This greatly worried the Hungarian Nanny.

Just before she was about to leave for the evening, she couldn't take it any more and insisted I take my temperature. Sure enough, over 100 degrees. This disturbed the Hungarian Nanny so much that she ran out to the market for chamomile tea bags. Upon her return she boiled a full kettle of water, poured it all into a large mixing bowl, added two tea bags, put the big bowl on a tray, and ordered me to sit up immediately.

She put the steaming tray on my lap, covered my entire head and shoulders with a big towel, and forced me to inhale these chamomile fumes for what seemed like an eternity. It was unbelieveably uncomfortable. I do not like steam as it makes me very claustrophobic and like I cannot breathe. Yet the wrath of the Hungarian Nanny would be even more unbearable.

At long last, she freed me from the chamomile tent, commenting on how pink and panicked I appeared. I immediately laid back down to recover.

The Hungarian Nanny was quite pleased with her contribution to my health and well-being. Upon leaving, she doled out her last order: "Do not under any circumstances drink that chamomile tea. It has your sweat in it." Ummm, gross.

Well. Alrighty then.

 
WISE WORDS

"Adversity doesn't give you character, it just reveals who you are."
(Tim Davis)

 
STRANGE TURN OF EVENTS

I have been craving a certain food item for about a week now.

It's entirely bizarre because I am usually quite disgusted with this food item. If fact, just the idea of putting it past my lips usually turns my stomach.

However, for the past six days or so, I just keep craving one of those dinner sized beef franks. EEEAAAAOOOWWWWW.
It makes me shiver just to type those words. But yes, it's a hot dog cooked on a barbeque grill with Grey Poupon mustard and red onion in a soft bun that has my mind in a food-lock.

What has become of me?????? Early Alzheimers???? Temporary insanity???? Split personality???? The Homer Kelley gene pool????

I'm sick and I need help.

 
FAIR WARNING

Next time you come over to visit my house, do not become alarmed at the eleven pound silvery/grey hair ball overflowing in the bathroom sink.

That's just Timmy.