NOTE TO SELF
When you get up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, REMEMBER that you hung that skeleton from the dining room ceiling so that you don't give yourself a heart attack like last night when you ran right into it. Nucklehead.
CONSPIRACY?????
Well, it seems as though my voter registration has been lost/disposed of/misplaced/deemed irrelevant. I had to re-register since I moved last November, and now I face the ridiculous position of not being able to vote even though I registered.
Let's track back. Walking into Ralphs about three months ago, the John Kerry mafia had set up a table to register voters and I thought "Hey, I need to re-register." Filled out the form, realized that I could not remember my address from two moves ago, called Mrs. I/O who always knows these things, got that straightened out, and submitted my registration. End of story.
Until now.
I do not exist on voter registration. I cannot vote on Tuesday. I have been eliminated. Hmmmmm, I must have been identified by the U.S. Intelligence Community as suspect by the:
FBI: Federal Bureau of Investigation
CIA: Central Intelligence Agency
NGI: National Geospace Intelligence Agency
NSA: National Security Agency
TTIC: Terrorist Threat Integration Center
NIC: National Intelligence Councel
CIC: Counter Intelligence Center
CSE: Center for Security Evaluation
CNC: Crime and Narcotic Center
NVTC: National Virtual Translation Center
KIBSA: Kelly is Being Silly (again) Agency
It's as if they knew that I was going to vote for Theresa Heinz Kerry for President, Laura Bush for Vice President (the one who really runs the country these days), Karen Hughes for Defence Secretary and Oprah Winfrey for National Get Yourself Together Czar.
I've been deemed redundant. Well . . . . . . . .
LISTEN UP, EVIL GUY
I saw what you did in the parking lot in front of Malibu Kitchen this morning and you know it. And when I rolled my window down and told you that I saw what you did, you gave me the EVIL EYE, you stupid EVIL GUY. Well, I have your license plate number, and I have made the following report to the Keepers of Karma: Evil Guy in black pickup with the license plate number 7A30790 committed an act of irresponsible idiocy, then ran away like a coward.
Put that in your pipe, and smoke it.
INDULGENCE
When cooking for myself, it's always very simple: fish or chicken, salad, sometimes pasta.
When making dinner for TGG and I, it's always something like tonight's fare: barbequed ribs, creamy risotto, and steamed artichokes. Chocolate cupcakes for dessert.
Yummers.
COOL WEATHER UPDATE
Last night it stormed and the lights kept flickering on and off, really spooky-like. Cool. It was only 51 freezing degrees this morning at 7:30 a.m. Cooler. Today we got thunder and lightening and more buckets of rain. Way Cool. The wind whipped up so fast that Jazz almost got beaned by a enormous flying palm frond, which landed with a huge thud on the roof. Dangerously Cool.
HOMEMAKERS TIP OF THE DAY
If you don't have a tiny flathead screwdriver in your tool box, just use one end of your eyebrow tweezers.
AT THE NEXT TABLE OVER FROM OURS . . . . . . . . . . . .
A very young woman with an older, nice looking gentleman. She has taken him out for his birthday. The conversation goes like this . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
YOUNG WOMAN: WAH, WHAAAAA, WAH, WAH, WAH-WAH-WAH. And, WAH, WAH WHA!!!!!!
Nice Older Man: Wow.
YOUNG WOMAN: WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, WHAAAAAAA. WAH, WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH.
Nice Older Man: Right.
YOUNG WOMAN: WAHHHHH, WAHHHHH, WAHHHH, WAHHHHH. WHAAAHHHHAAAAHHHHH. REALLY!!!!!
Nice Older Man: Really?
YOUNG WOMAN: WAH, BLAH, BLAH, WAH-WAH-WAH. WHAAAAA, WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH. BLAHHHHH.
Nice Older Man: Yeah.
YOUNG WOMAN: WAH. WAH. ME. ME. ME. WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
Nice Older Man: Wow.
YOUNG WOMAN: WAH-WAH-WAH!!!
Nice Older Man: Yeah.
YOUNG WOMAN: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WAHHHHHHHHHH. WAHHHHHHHHH. WAH-WAH.
Nice Older Man: Right.
YOUNG WOMAN: BLAH-BLAH-BLAH. WAHHHH. WAH, WAH, WAH. WAHHHHHH!
Nice Older Man: But they, they're . . . .
YOUNG WOMAN: WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice Older Man: Right.
YOUNG WOMAN: WAH, WAH, WAH, WAHHHH. WAH, I ALWAYS, WAH-WAH-WAH. AND I . . . .BLAH, BLAH BLAH.
Nice Older Man: Um Hmm.
YOUNG WOMAN: WAH, WAH, WHAAAAAAAA, BLAH. BLAH. BLAH-BLAH-BLAH. WHA.
Nice Older Man: Wow.
YOUNG WOMAN: WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-WHAAAAAA. WHA, WAH, WAH, WHA, BLAH. WAH, WAH.
Nice Older Man: Right.
And on and on and on, ad nauseum.
MARMALADE
Mr. B and I have been to Marmalade three days in a row. Friday we went while waiting for TGG to finish PE. Saturday we went while TGG was at a Halloween party. Today we went while TGG was at band practice.
If only Marmalade would give points for spending excessive minutes in the establishment. Mr. B would win hands down. No, actually, Mr. B would win hands flapping.
