INTERVIEW WITH SHAQ IN MIAMI
Reporter: What do you weigh?
Shaquille: I weigh 330,000 pounds.
Reporter: What do you think of Dwyane Wade?
Shaquille: I was downstairs, playing with D-Wade, and he went to the hole and he threw a pass and it hit me in the face.
He said, "You got to catch that."
I said, "Well, I'm not used to getting those passes, buddy."
Cha-ching.
A DAY IN THE LIFE
Woke up sleepy, drove Mr. B to MHS, and arrived home safely.
Ate breakfast, then read the paper.
Cleaned the floors, then the bathroom, then the front porch.
Ordered promo materials for Michael's book tour.
Helped pest control with the new door trap.
Pick up a stranger's dog doo from my front lawn (gross).
Poached more salmon for the next few days.
Meditated. Ahhhh.
Read mail, studied new business plan for Southern Living.
Received phone call from friend attempting suicide.
Tricked overdosing friend into getting off the phone, called emergency services.
Called friend back, keeping friend on the phone until ambulance arrives.
Hang up from friend, then go and cry.
Watch Oprah. Find out 1/3 of women in the U.S. are emotionally abused.
Go to Ralphs and find that they don't have 4 of 6 items on list.
Go to Sav-On instead. Spend $124.
Surprise Mr. B with 36 new colorful markers. Yay!
Hug Timmy and Jazz, Mr. B, and then, Laura.
Make mental note to be grateful for my life.
Can't wait for tomorrow.
CELEBRITY INFATUATION UPDATE
Keanu's out; Eddie's in.
