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Conorama

Expounding on Nothing

Impartial Observer

 
It has been determined that Mr. B, (aka Beebs, B-bop, Sniggy, Doodle, Dudeless, Neegy, and now THE BOSS) has immediate openings in his organization. WANTED: HOUSEKEEPER (must enjoy vacuuming and making up beds a minimum of twice per day as well as peeling rock hard Jolly Rancher Lollipops out of the tub), PERSONAL CHEF (very specific dietary guidelines must be adhered to, absolutely NO nutrients are to be introduced into the diet), GARDENER (mainly responsible for retrieving thrown objects from balcony of apartment into the garden, but also to revive house plants that have been peed upon), COMPUTER TECHNICIAN (Mr. B has a rare talent for jamming, freezing, and outright confusing perfectly good computer programs), INTERPRETER (it's so bothersome to have to decode English), SPOKESPERSON (it's so bothersome to have to speak for oneself), TOILET FLUSHER (well, he just can't be bothered with this nonsense), DRIVER (must have extensive drive through experience) MANSERVANT (bottomless patience for all of the little requests such as Ice!, Tickles!, Candies!, Swimming!), and finally NANNY (only to reassure Mr. B that his mother will make it to her 44th birthday). All qualified applicants apply to: Planet B, 0X0 pbskids.org Road, Beebersville, CA . 123456789&10.

 
Today I learned a little about women and cows from Minsk. Seems they prefer to defer when it comes to men and bulls.

 
SHHHHH! Mr. B has fallen asleep while lying in front of the fireplace.

 
Today I acquired the following items from the farmer's market: ORGANIC blood oranges, strawberries, meyer lemons, pink lady apples, pencil thin asparagus, celery, spinich, french kale, and red chard. I wanted the smoked goat cheese, but a certain Hindu doctor's voice persuaded me otherwise.

 
That box of checks is surely in hiding with the box of Starburst candies from Costco (count 108 candies).

 
So I'm down to my last check, and my new box of checks is nowhere to be found.

 
My friend Todd feels strongly that islandizing myself is good for now. I agree.

 
Oh yeah, and Aruba. How could I forget?

 
I seem to have a particular affinity for islands I guess. I've even visited a few: Hawaii, Catalina, Bimini, Oahu, Balboa, Kiawa, Ireland, Huahini, St. Thomas, Puerto Rico, Bora Bora, Maui, Caymen, Key West, Great Britain, Tahiti and Raiatia.

 
So my friend Linda told me to stop being an island.

 
Want to lose weight? Don't eat anything that is processed, or comes in a box, can or package of any sort. Based on personal experience, even though we don't actually eat the box or can, it's as if we do! Take that away, and voila! Skinny persons spending enormous amounts of time foraging for food from natural sources, cleaning it, chopping it, cooking it, finally eating it, and then repeating the whole thing in another couple of hours. Plan to have nuts on hand.