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Conorama

Expounding on Nothing

Impartial Observer

 
oh, another call. C-note answered, but she got suddenly shy and hung up. (does she realize that in the year 2003, most phones have caller I.D., including ours)

 
another call has been received. since C-note is home now, i had him answer it. she asked for him, and he answered "this is he". she then told him that he is AWESOME. C-note blushed. He really is awesome.

 
we've reached another milestone. C-note received two crank calls from "Alex", a giggling, blabbering, pre-adolescent girl with what sounded like 17 of her closest friends yelling in the background. C-note is officially now a babe.

 
So I was almost run over this morning in the Sav-On parking lot. No kidding. Almost lost my life. Fortunately, that old goat stopped several inches just short of my heels, whereas I almost fainted from fright. He went on to zoom into the parking spot just to my right, got out of his Volvo, and ran like an idiot into the post office. Someone tell this nitwit that nothing leaves the Malibu post office until 5:00 p.m. each day, and today is certainly not April 15th. No excuses.

 
5:12 a.m. Mr. B is awake and running through the house naked, LAUGHING.
5:34 Mr. B is opening and slamming all of the cupboard doors in the kitchen, in the quest for Pepperidge Farms cheddar goldfish.
6:17 Mr. B is outside on the balcony, taunting the blackbirds, LAUGHING.
6:49 I discover that Mr. B has turned off the oven, where the blueberry muffins were cooking.
6:50 Mr. B smiles as I turn the oven back on.
7:39 Mr. B is draped over the arm of the sofa like a dead jacket, one arm dangling, silent. Eerie.
7:42 Mr. B is now climbing back into bed, just in time to depart for the bus.

 
I have a new job. I have been officially appointed the "muse" for a creative genius who needs my inspiration. I think I'm up to the challenge. Muses can get away with being rather difficult, can't they? :-)

 
Mr. B is asleep in my bed with Woody and the Leprechaun. Hmmm.

 
Today I bought bee pollen at the farmer's market. And California grown macadamia nuts, dates, and lavender. They had no basil.

 
Mr. B wrote "O N D" on the pristine white refrigerator with a thick black Sharpie. It won't come off.

 
There are these beautiful pink and purple and gold and blue clouds outside my window. They are moving this way, soon to overtake the sky directly over my home. I wish I could share this moment with Vincent Van Gogh. Vincent!!!

 
I've been having trouble with my phone all day (today is the day for technical difficulties - please bear with me). So I just picked up a message from a friend who told me that my phone was JACKED. Hmmmm, JACKED. Not Steved, or Bruced or Mannyed or Moed, but JACKED. What does that mean. Can you believe it???

 
Can you believe it??? When Einstein said that God didn't play dice with the Universe, he was right!

 
So I was thinking: When you fall in love with someone, are you really in love with them, or are you in love with the person that you perceive yourself to be when you are in love?

 
Can you believe it??? I return home to find my living room full of beautiful blue furniture with sassy cream fringe. A sofa, and two double-wide chairs taking up the entire room! I told those furniture people that if they couldn't deliver on Saturday morning while I was away, then I just wouldn't buy another thing from them again. And look, here it is. Kissasses!

 
Can you believe it??? I return home to find my e-mail box empty. Every single folder EMPTY!!! No trash, no sent messages, no drafts, nothing! All Verizon can say is "we are updating our service" with no indication of when it will be done. Dumbasses!

 
A little U2, the Eels, Linkin Park, and a lot of drumming by C-note, and it makes for a happy home. Next up: AC-DC.

 
Mr. B was very happy to see me when I got home. He even said "Hi", with a silly little grin. Wow.

 
Drove back from San Diego tonight. Tried in vain to find intelligent food on the way home. Had no luck whatsoever. At one single exit from the freeway: Carl's Jr., McDonalds, Jack in the Box, KFC, Del Taco, Burger King, Taco Bell, Denny's, and IHOP. This is not intelligent food. In fact, if you asked this food a question, it would answer "DUH". Now, I'm home and I'm starving.