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Conorama

Expounding on Nothing

Impartial Observer

 
Since I waited until this morning to clean up the leek massacre, I awoke to the smell of onion. Plahhhhgh.

 
Hmmmm, it seems that there are many simultaneously valid, yet contradictory realities. Hence, paradox. We just seem to have to live through the paradox that is inherent in duality, and in the contradictory nature of being human. Paradox. Can you live with it?

 
While I was enjoying the wonderous sounds that C-note exudes from his guitar, Mr. B decided to chop 6 leeks in the kitchen. Now we have beautiful guitar rhythms paralleled with the smell of onion. Sweet leeks of course, yet still, onion and C's rhythm guitar. Let's sort this out: we live in a multi-dimensional universe. Parallel realities. So, Mr. B creates art with onion, while C-note creates art with music. Let's think about this. Hmmmmm.

 
While Mr. B is certainly no interior design expert, he is quite talented at drawing amazing things with his markers. His newest and very profound piece is a replica of his right hand, which he traced carefully with brown marker going around each finger with the utmost care, then filled in the entire hand brown, and added a shocking purple ray of color extending upward toward the heavens from his right ring finger. He ordered me to cut out the masterpiece, which I did, then he ran off with it for a private showing with his inner circle. Whoa, wow, ahhhh, this fellow is a genius!

 
Mr. B found two sets of craft paints (each with 10 colors) and set about redecorating his bathroom. Paint floor to sink. Mostly blue, red, brown (from mixing every color possible) and black. Even Clorox can't fix this mess.

 
I actually witnessed a sea gull pooping mid flight this morning. We all know that birds poop all the time, but do you ever really see one do it? I did this morning. What a great way to start the day.

 
Star observation today: DICK VAN DYKE chatting up two lovely young ladies at breakfast at Marmalade, and then PAMELA ANDERSON across the street at the pre-school dropping off her little guy for a day of fun and play. Just regular people doing regular people things.

 
We met several members of the Black Crows today: one small, yet lethal drummer innocently sitting on the back of an italian cafe chair, at the outdoor cafe where C-note and I went to chill out during Mr. B's art lesson, and then another larger, more dangerous sort, lead singer of course, taunting us as we made our way home, only to stop briefly for root beer and sunflower seeds. God give us mercy.

 
It was pointed out to me today that I have a new freckle or mole on the right side of my bottom lip. Or, this could very well be an age spot. I don't really need to think about that kind of thing at this point. I'm really too busy telling other people what to do to tell my the skin on my lip to behave.

 
Another mold inspector due Thursday. Between the mold, the fire alarms, and the black crows, it's high time to start thinking about high-tailing it out of here. And where we will land, nobody knows.

 
Today I am completely exhausted. The fire alarms went off again last night just before 1:00 a.m. Being jolted out of sleep by five piercing, screetching alarms completely of of sync with one another causes ones nervous system to melt down. Then of course, sleep is impossible for the next three hours.